Why do I do it?

0227131455Good morning starts at 5:00 AM for me. At 5:00 AM I haul myself out of bed and start my day. I don’t actually have to start work until 8:00 AM, and it takes me a half-an-hour to get to work, but that still means I spend two and a half hours preparing for my day.

Why? People ask me this all the time. Why wake up so early just to put on some make-up. Does it really matter that much?

Maybe not to you, maybe not to everyone, but it does to me.

My twenties were… oh, they were the best of times, they were the worst of times. It was a war within myself. My weight had reached its peak of 282 pounds and I needed to change my life. It was a time of reaching my very, very lowest (passing 280 pounds) and very, very highest (a more than 125 pound weight loss).

Losing the weight wasn’t as hard as one wold think. I mean, it didn’t take me five years to put on the weight, and it took me that much time to take it off, so ultimately, that’s a pretty good average. What was so difficult was finding who I was when the weight came off. internalizing what I look like. Looking in the mirror and not knowing who was looking back at me. Finding my face, learning what I liked to look like, that was the challenge.

I like putting in the effort. I like making the conscious decision to put my very best foot forward. Fifty years ago, sixty years ago, it was not considered acceptable to go out of your house in sweat pants and ratty hair. I think our society has lost a little something since then. I don’t mean that I think every one needs to spend two and a half hours on themselves every day, but I think everyone needs to put their best foot forward. It is about respect.

I respect myself. And I respect you. So unless I’m jogging, sick or heading out to get my hair cut – you will see me putting my best out there. You will see me how I like to see myself.

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